What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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