In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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