Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Randomize