singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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