He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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