I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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