It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
