its not stalking. its research.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
