Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
In America we eat man semen.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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