Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
