she woke up with a sticky ear
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
