I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
