If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
