why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
