We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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