K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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