she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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