I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
