I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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