im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
