so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize