Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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