so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
