No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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