Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
