Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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