I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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