they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
