I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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