May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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