My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...