Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.