Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃