Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
