So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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