"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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