I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
