if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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