If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
