Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My pussy is not your playground.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
