I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
please don't ironically join a cult
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