i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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