dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We named our party play list daddy issues
I could make wine with my vomit
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
