Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
