She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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