I'm eating all of the evidence.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize