So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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