I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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