Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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