they need to just BURY HIM!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
