Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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