I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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