i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
