It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
