Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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