u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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