I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I AM VODKA MAN
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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