Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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