She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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