Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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